The "Truth" About Life

When I was little, I wanted to change the world.

How fast do years fly by. Things happen beyond your expectations so fast, with a tendency to go out of plan and before you know it, your priorities shift. From wanting to change the world to a mere, childish desire to fit in.

I have a very wide social circle, I do. They say no man is an island, well and no woman too :)

However, communicating with people around me is exactly what Samuel Beckett depicted in his masterpiece "Waiting for Godot", where people speak, (thinking to one another) when in fact they are going around in repetitive circles around their egos and themselves, not knowing for sure what they are aiming at.

While some interpreted Godot as an imaginary creature, others thought it was God- and the book was classified (or at least in my school) as Theatre of the Absurd. But I saw it as starking reality, like nothing before. I felt the resemblance from the first page, to life as a whole (and my life in particular). The utter randomness we live in, which we like to deny through God, customs, traditions and other masks that make it easier for us to imagine that there is more to life than the crap we live through everyday. We can't simply imagine that this crap is actually life. The Good and the Bad. Just as it is.

For instance, coping mechanisms with life include what people "invented" since the pharaohs to make their lives for a purpose, such as heaven, hell, socially accepted patterns (e.g. a virtuous married couple with two children and a small car- can vary a little from one society to the other).

Not accepting these givens might be what pushed Hollywood filmmakers to make movies such as Fight Club or Revolutionary Road (in which I AM Kate Winslett's character in every sense of the word). With the Revolutionary Road, I was one of the very few that cried her heart out in the end because Winslett's unborn child of convention and ordinariness killed her. I was scared for myself. I don't want to end up living a life that is good in other people's eyes. My eyes are what matter.

End result is I thought that Birds of a Feather Flock Together, so I started focusing on finding birds of my feather, so we can express ourselves freely together, to whom I can speak about my dream guy and not hear a word about how his social status, bank account, religion, car, continent, how we meet, nothing. Or if I want to drink some nice cup of coffee in Ramadan, I don't have to hear a word about the fact that fasting is a truth beyond doubts (I wonder how people even think there is anything like a truth beyond doubt in life at all. Did no body else but me hear of Descartes? Everything is rebuttable).

"Ordinary" people can push you to act differently from how you would have in a more liberal society. For instance, if I don't feel like I have to fast, I don't drink or eat outside my house in Ramadan, which is wrong and stupid, because it is hypocritical and because without coffee, I wouldn't have had a personality whatsoever. But my nationality does not allow me to drink coffee for a whole month because people around me don't want me to. I don't wish to delve in the area of what you are allowed to do or not in terms of religion, as this is an extremely thorny topic. However, I just want to emphasize that people should be allowed to act as per their discretion, and in the end they will have their reward/punishment accordingly (if they believe it).

People are the offspring of the environment they were born into, the country, the language, the culture, the religion, the timing in history, and so on- I was born (and still live in) in Egypt, a country that I love with every sense of the word, and I don't have to lie about it (or about anything else in life). But, sadly, it is also a country that can squeeze the blood off your face if you live in it long enough, unless you fit the profile of the "Birds of a Feather" that I talked about earlier (in which I don't fit).

I have spoken a lot and in circles, but I really thought this article is the best introduction of me. It is difficult to engage with people when your concept of God, love, right and wrong, career, ethics, (you name it) is plain unique, unconventional and naively idealistic.

(ps. I don't believe that everyone is unique, I think there are a lot of sheep out there!!!!!!!

In my part of the world, "unconventional" is a bad word that people don't prefer to use to describe themselves, their thoughts, ideologies, (although they are surprisingly more comfortable with words like pragmatic, practical, pro-West, conservative, career-driven, ...). I understand their yearning for acceptance, but it only proves my point.

Don't think that I am done. Not even close.

Rania- from my own personal free platform...